Healing Betrayal Cycles

Among Women & The Priestesshood

Recently, I was called to go into meditation and retrieve soul pieces from my timelines that are currently blocking me from fully stepping into my mission. What I was shown was incredibly freeing and profound, however, I needed to process the pain and sadness that came with this revelation rooting back to the betrayals that have taken place among women extending into the priestesshoods.

This is a sensitive share and may be triggering for some who hold memories or experiences of betrayal amongst women, so please honor yourself as you read this should anything arise for you. 

As my writing is rooted in shamanic medicine storytelling, I invite you to come into your heart in order to best receive and experience it.

All of this is connected to what I am currently weaving, as over the last three months I have been birthing a new body of work that is very close to my heart. This will be revealed in time as it is forming ever so gently yet quickening every day. The vision has come through clearly along with the mission, intention and energetic structure. It has been initiated and I can see it so clearly, yet I have been finding myself struggling with how to share it.

I have pages upon pages of writing that I have brought through when immersed in the frequency, easily expressing all of the threads of the tapestry. Yet, there has been a push-pull feeling of how to share it so it may reach those it is meant to serve. There has been some fear and hesitancy around sharing it, even feeling like I do not want to share it with those closest to me. My sisters, my fellow priestesses, birthing their own sacred work that is not a threat to my own. I have also had feelings of not wanting to own the truth of what this is and what I am being asked to create and hold as this will result in taking my expression to a deeper level of being seen.

I have been observing these feelings as more has come in to reveal the root. It has been unravelling, with many different memories from this lifetime coming up where women who I trusted and called friends, betrayed me when I shared exciting and positive news about my life.

Like the time when I was 20 and got my first huge promotion at work; this was a huge deal because at the time I was working full time, going to school full time, trying to pay rent and tuition and barely had enough to make ends meet. I told one of my closest “friends” I was going to go celebrate and buy this amazing pair of stilettos I had been eyeing for months. That night when I went to go buy them, I found her in the shoe department trying them on and watched her buy them. I was floored. I remember walking out of there being stunned, not able to understand this concept of what I just witnessed. That night, she posted a photo of herself on Facebook wearing the shoes. The next day her sister, also a “friend” of mine, told me that since her sister got the shoes first it would be against “girl code” for me to get them now and that it would be “really shitty” for me to buy the shoes. I couldn’t believe the lengths that these two sisters went to in order to ensure that I couldn’t have what they had – intently trying to steal my joy. The idea that someone, a friend, would want to sabotage this joyful moment for me was heartbreaking for my deep, empathic and sensitive heart.

I knew then, these women were not my friends. I ended the relationships I had with them and then they blew up at me, attacking me, leaving me horrible messages, and calling me names, all because I didn’t want to remain “friends” with them.

As ridiculous as all of this sounds, these kinds of scenarios continued to play out throughout my life with women. I would have these really close relationships with them and then whenever something incredible started happening to me in my life, they would start behaving in a certain way and an act of betrayal would occur. I would then decide to end the relationship, they would blow up at me, refusing to accept it. Sometimes, I was manipulated into maintaining the friendship. 

These memories have been coming up for me for the last 6 months, showing me the pattern, allowing me to take responsibility for my lack of boundaries and seeing how often I gave my power away.

Knowing what I know now, I see why these played out. Knowing what I am meant to hold and how I am meant to serve, I see why these were necessary for me to experience in this life and where they stemmed from my past.

To know these wounds intimately

So while I was retrieving my soul parts, I was taken to a stone circle in Avalon. I saw myself on the fire pyre and a group of women surrounding me. I immediately felt that these women were a part of my priestess lineage that I was leading and that they had betrayed me. I saw the deception, I saw the lies, I saw the cover-up. I saw what was done to Sophia. I saw what it represented.

I saw them take all of my tools and sacred items and use black magic to siphon the power from them and put them into their own tools.

I have been an oracular singer of Sophianic medicine for lifetimes, this one included. I saw myself singing on the pyre, weeping with sadness yet trusting the Will of God, knowing that even with this betrayal, I would be held by God.

I wept as I relived this trauma, seeing all the memories come in where I have given my power away to other women. Seeing where I trusted women and was betrayed by them, as I held this wound.

I also felt into the energy if I have ever been the one to take power from other women, consciously or unconsciously. If I have ever betrayed women through this wounding. A specific time came to mind and I remembered the deep shame I felt when this took place. When I was really drunk one night many years ago I ended up hitting on a guy that my close friend had liked for years, and I did this in front of her. This was very out of character for me and my values. I remember the next day feeling so upset with myself and owning up to my actions, asking for her forgiveness, deeply ashamed. That was a dark time in my life and it really showed, given how I acted when I was intoxicated. That shadow of the wound came out. 

We have all made decisions we are not proud of because of wounds we carry, whether we know of them or not. Taking responsibility and finding forgiveness is essential when healing these.

And so I prayed and asked to release these patterns, as I do not consent to them, as this is not how I want to interact with other women. It never has been, even from when I was a child and in 1st grade I was bullied for being a princess for Halloween, where a fellow classmate tormented me for having fun and dancing around in my princess costume. She berated me and told me I was not a princess, that my costume was ugly and she hated me. I remember crying to my mom about this, not understanding why someone would be so mean. I didn’t understand why we couldn’t be friends and be princesses together.

How many of us have had experiences like these? 

The term “frenemies” exists for a reason, this dynamic has been present between women for thousands of years. These cycles of betrayal, of the stealing of power, of the inauthentic connections. Even when we don’t want to act these out, they happen. And even for the women who are the ones doing the acts of betrayal, can we find forgiveness for them while holding strong boundaries and protecting ourselves? It takes time and compassion based on our understanding, but yes it is possible. Can we say no to the parts of us who get sucked into the wound and act out from a place of pain?

It is possible to end these cycles.

In this process, I called all of my power back and released the fears of this cycle happening again. I cleared it for the lineage that had been cycling in this trauma, this story. I prayed for all of the women affected by this cycle to be free of it and to see it for what it is. Because this cycle is done playing out.

I am no longer giving it the power it once held.

I no longer choose to engage or be a part of it, in this timeline or any other timeline.

I revoke my consent to any betrayal cycles between sisters.

I revoke my consent to participating in the fallen sisterhood dynamics.

I hold compassion for all women as we have all experienced these energies, whether giving or receiving them.

So many of us have fear around developing real relationships with women because of these cycles, wounds, trauma, and memories. We may not even know that we are holding it and this is the cause.

But with awareness, we can heal these as we build safety within ourselves and each other.

It is time for the true sisterhood to rise

How do we do this?

By empowering other women, instead of taking from them.

By encouraging other women, instead of attacking them.

By witnessing other women, instead of judging them.

We don’t need to steal power from each other. We all have our own power and we can respect and honor every sister and her unique medicine.

This is what I am birthing, this is part of my mission. It has been coming in for years, and the time is coming soon for it to be birthed into being because we are ready.

I am here to help restore Sophianic Sovereignty among all of the sisters that resonate with me, my medicine, the lineages I hold and the messages I share.

My medicine may not be for every woman, but it is designed to ripple out through all of the women that I connect with through the sisterhood I hold. By empowering and encouraging them to share their medicine and wisdom in their own voice, it allows them to serve in the way they are meant to, allowing their sovereign expression to be felt and received by those drawn to them.

I have seen the wounds of this betrayal healed, I have seen the power of Sophia and the vision she is lovingly holding for all of us as we rise together. The medicine is there, waiting to be unearthed, waiting to be received, ignited and shared.

And so over the coming weeks, I will be sharing more, for I no longer feel the hesitation in sharing the message. I trust that the women, the sisters, the priestesses, the oracles, the shamans, the messengers, the dream weavers, the gatherers, the alchemists and the light-bearers that are meant to find this message will be divinely led as it holds a certain frequency. Those that are truly ready to heal these wounds and break these cycles, for ourselves and for all women.

Authentic connection, trust and respect between sisters is the way of the priestesshood that I carry and am here to share with all who resonate and remember.

Blessed be the light and grace of Christ-Sophia.

With love & gratitude,

Eleja

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