My Journey with Cacao:

An Invitation to Serve

There is a new chapter beginning in my journey, one that holds a very significant and special place in my heart. It involves a key thread of the tapestry that is deeply woven throughout the innermost layers of my soul; that is, it is most precious to me for what it holds, where it has taken me and how it continues to guide me.   

This thread is that of being a carrier of sacred plant medicines. 

This is an area of my journey that I haven’t shared too much around publicly as it’s been very personal and to be quite honest, has taken me a long time to accept and surrender into fully. I have had to move through many experiences to get to this point of the process, as there has been a lot of personal resistance as well as outside interference surrounding my relationship to being a carrier of these medicines.  

Being a carrier is an important part of my soul’s path and has been an energetic role that I have held for thousands of years, yet, I was not ready to accept in this lifetime. And still, the winding road has magically circled back to the place of its origin, reminding me of how much I appreciate and respect the plants and their wisdom.

Plants are incredibly intelligent and sentient beings and have a big role to play in the awakening of humanity

The carriers of their medicine are here to serve in many ways, each of us holding a different role. As part of my role, I am here to serve as an advocate for the plants and what they are sharing because it is so important to communicate – they are a part of this planet too and have much to say around restoring organic consciousness.  

One of these incredibly wise plants is our Earth Mother medicine extraordinaire, Cacao.  

The healing medicine of Mama Cacao is warm, gentle, grounding, inspiring and deeply supportive.  

I have been working with her for years but just this past year our relationship has reached new levels of trust and understanding. We have moved into a deeper partnership as she has helped me surrender into the medicine of my heart, encouraging me to share it with others.  

This summer, she honored me with the invitation to serve her medicine and hold ceremonial space for those who are called to learn from her as she connects deep into the heart in her magnificent, graceful way.  

Cacao is a master teacher plant. 

She is an incredible ally as the frequency she holds is potent yet gentle and her energetic signature is deeply rooted within the Earth energies. She takes you back to organic nature through the heart portal, reminding us all that we are nature and that nature is a part of us that we can access at any time. 

She illuminates to us what is in our hearts and what we are hiding from that is waiting to be seen, acknowledged and accepted – she does this with great care, patience and compassion.  

With the power of her medicine, she showed me what I was hiding from and not accepting: this very important piece of my soul and mission that I was denying myself. I was fighting against my true nature, my connection to the plants, to the medicine I carry and what they have asked me to do in partnership with them.  

And so after a profound, undeniable series of events that occurred this year, I surrendered and accepted the medicine carrier path fully, acknowledging all that was being shown to me as I could no longer deny my destiny. My heart was open and ready to receive, as saying yes freed myself of the pain that came with the denial and resistance for so long. It was a massive relief that brought so much peace to my true self. 

With this openness, the invitation to serve her came in swiftly with great love and tenderness. It was an unexpected surprise yet also very aligned to all that is unfolding within my work. I have been sitting with this invitation for months now, processing it and really taking it into my being, understanding what it means to me. 

You see, I have been asked and invited by people for years to hold cacao ceremonies, but I just couldn’t say yes, as tempting as it was. It didn’t feel right to me. Why? Because I was waiting to be invited by the plant, the master herself.  

In my training with the plants, they have taught me how important the invitation is when it comes to working with them and especially when it comes to serving them in a ceremonial space. When you serve plant medicine to others, the relationship you have to the plant itself is paramount. This goes for working with the plant on a solo level as well. How deeply do you know the plant? How deeply have the two of you gone together to build your relationship and trust? This extends out into the container that you are holding when you serve.  

Truthfully, many people do not have awareness around how important the invitation is when it comes to working with the plants as well as the intimate relationship-building process with the plant. This is something I learned early on in my plant medicine carrier journey which I feel was crucial in terms of getting into right relationship with these medicines. Ayahuasca taught me that –  as she has always been the guiding force on this path for me – but, back to Cacao as she is the star of this chapter.

And so, I knew that I could not be in integrity with myself if I served Mama Cacao’s medicine without getting a proper invitation from her first. Not only that, but I knew I wasn’t ready to serve her as I was still not fully accepting my path with the medicines. Even through all of my doubts, I continued to work with the plants, training with them as well as my own guides and experienced shamanic mentors as I was deeply called to learn from them. Honestly, I was committed to learning more about myself and seeing deeper into the path because it kept calling me. This part of the work provided me with the experience of being brutally honest with myself, seeing my shadow and where I was lying to myself and making excuses. Many great lessons and breakthroughs came from this particular part of the journey, especially when I was feeling called to go into deeper partnership with the plants to support others. And still I waited, knowing it wasn’t time to serve. 

How could I serve her when I was still in denial of being a carrier? When I wasn’t ready to own that part of my path? When I wasn’t fully committed to the path of holding these medicines? I still had work to do, I needed to go deeper, I needed to see.

The plants are so wise and they know when you are fully committed and when you are still figuring things out

They test you to see where you are at in your commitment and dedication. 

For me, it was never about not being devoted or dedicated to the plants, as I deeply love and connect to them. That’s why resisting the path was so painful for me. My resistance was about feeling worthy of the path. It was also about overcoming fears of what it meant when I went all in and said yes, knowing that it would take me deeper into the great mystery. There is also a lot of fear-mongering out there around plant medicines that I had to navigate through as I remembered my own wisdom through gnosis.  

My foundation and trust with God is what made this all possible. For without that, I don’t think I could have said yes. Over time, God showed me that my organic path is working in partnership with these medicines.  

The ascension process is already so full of the unknown with its many challenges to face and overcome. When you include shamanic plant medicine work, it adds another layer of depth to the mystery. Now, imagine being a carrier of these medicines that are the holders of the mystery. You are carrying that within you and living in these mysterious and unknown spaces all the time, weaving in and out of the realms with the plants guiding you, teaching you.  

There are no days off when you commit to the shamanic path, especially when you are a carrier of medicines. It is truly a way of being and touches every area and aspect of your reality. 

If you don’t create space for it to permeate, you will feel it, especially if you are meant to serve others in these spaces. My shamanic practices encompass all of me and my life because it’s a massive part of who I am and where I feel most at home. I have been cultivating this since I was initiated into the shamanic path in 2019. It’s not an overnight process, it’s a true transformation that occurs over time based on your commitment, devotion and how deep you are being called to dive into the path. Everyone’s path is different; I am simply sharing my experiences to provide insight into the process as I see more people following the call to this way of being.  

Being a carrier is a sacred honor and something that I hold deep reverence for as it holds a great deal of responsibility, especially when serving to others and being a vessel of the medicine. 

After years of learning and many lessons, fully surrendering and accepting the path has been deeply fulfilling, comforting and peaceful to my soul. It has also led to feelings of excitement, nervousness, hesitancy and cautiousness as I move through each initiation and opportunity for growth. 

Remaining humble and devoted is the way forward, always remembering that there is so much more to learn and discover. A wise teacher once told me, it is one ceremony at a time. Full presence, deep reflection, self-inquiry and self-discipline is what is being asked of me at this time.  

And so as this next part of the journey begins for me, Mama Cacao has been gently encouraging me along, preparing me to serve her in ceremony, acknowledging what my soul knows so deeply and celebrating the moments of expansion and resonance as she knows what it took to get here. What it took for my heart to open in this way. My human self has been remembering and restoring the shamanic practices with help from my guides, my mentors and of course, the plants.

I am so grateful to God for leading me back to the beginning and showing me the truth of who I am and what I hold as it is truly such a gift to receive. The discovery process has given me the courage and strength to surrender and know that it is by Divine Will that this assignment unfolds now. 

Always remember, if it is your true calling, you won’t be able to stop feeling it and knowing it deep within your heart, even when all the different parts of you want to deny it. 

The calling of your soul is stronger than your ego’s fears and desires; when we take the time and space to listen and surrender, miracles are abound.

Blessed be the light and grace of Christ-Sophia.



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